How to check on an elderly parent who lives alone

Start with what they want

Most older people who live alone are proud of it. The quickest way to get them to stop answering the phone is to make them feel they're being supervised. So before you choose any app or routine, talk to them about it.

Ask what would make them feel safer, not just what would make you feel better. Some parents are relieved to have a simple way to say they're fine. Others want to know that someone will come if they ever can't get to the phone. Knowing which matters most to them tells you what to set up.

Agree on a simple daily routine

A routine is easier to keep up than a rule. Pick one moment of the day that already happens, like after breakfast or before bed, and make that the time they let you know they're OK.

Keep it small. A phone call every day can start to feel like a chore for both of you. A one-tap message is quick enough that they'll keep doing it, and it leaves your calls for actual conversation.

• Choose a time tied to something they already do each day.
• Agree how long you'll wait before you follow up if you don't hear from them.
• Decide who follows up: you, a sibling, or a neighbour nearby.
• Write the plan down where everyone can find it.

Use check-ins instead of tracking

Many families reach for a location-tracking app, but a live map of where your parent is all day doesn't answer the question you actually have. You don't need to know they're in the kitchen. You need to know they're OK.

With ImSafe, your parent can tap I'm Safe to tell the family they're fine without sharing where they are, or I'm Here to share their location as well. Everyone in the family group is told straight away. If you'd like to hear from them, you can send a nudge, which asks them to check in without asking for their location.

Because nothing is shared in between, it's a much easier thing to ask of a parent who values their privacy.

Have a plan for when they don't answer

The hard moment is the missed check-in. Usually there's an ordinary reason: they're asleep, out with a friend, or the phone is in another room. But you need a way to find out without panicking or calling the police.

In ImSafe, that's what a location check is for. Your parent is told you asked and gets a countdown to answer, which they set themselves, anywhere from 1 minute to 4 hours. If they tap I'm Safe, no location is shared. If the countdown runs out with no answer, their location is shared with the family group, so you know where to start looking.

Agree in advance what happens next if there's still no reply: who phones a neighbour, who has a spare key, and at what point you call for help.

Make it easy for them to ask for help

Your parent should have one obvious way to tell the family something is wrong. In ImSafe, the SOS button sits on the Home screen. Sliding or holding it alerts the family group and shows them where your parent is, updating as they move, until they cancel it. Each person can tap Acknowledge, so your parent can see who's seen the alert.

An SOS goes to family, not the emergency services. Make sure your parent knows to call the emergency number first if they're hurt or in danger.

Know what an app can't do

A check-in app relies on your parent being able to use their phone. It won't notice a fall on its own. If falls are a real worry, look at devices built for that, such as a smartwatch with fall detection or a personal alarm pendant, and use them alongside regular check-ins.

Nothing replaces visits, calls and neighbours who know to knock if the curtains stay closed. The aim of a check-in routine is to take the daily worry off both of you, so the time you do spend together isn't about whether they're OK.