Should you track your teenager's phone?

Why parents want to track

Teenagers start going places on their own: school, friends' houses, part-time jobs, parties, the first late nights out. Parents lose the easy picture of where their child is, and a phone that can share its location looks like a simple answer.

The worry behind it is real. What most parents actually want, though, is not a map. It's to know their child is safe, and to be able to find them if something goes wrong.

Why teenagers push back

To a teenager, constant tracking can feel like being told they're not trusted. Some respond by leaving their phone at a friend's house, switching off location, or simply telling you less. A tool that makes them hide things defeats its own purpose.

Privacy also matters more as they get older. Teenagers are learning to make their own decisions, and being watched all the time can get in the way of that. The arrangement you set at 13 probably won't suit them at 17.

Talk about it first

Whatever you decide, decide it together. Teenagers are far more likely to keep to an arrangement they helped make.

• Explain what you're actually worried about, specifically.
• Ask what they'd be comfortable sharing, and when.
• Agree what happens if they don't answer, so it isn't a surprise.
• Agree when you'll look at the arrangement again, such as on a birthday or at the start of a school year.
• Keep to your side of the deal, so they can trust it too.

An alternative to always-on tracking

Instead of a live map, many families settle on check-ins. Your teenager lets you know when they've arrived somewhere or are on their way home. In ImSafe, they tap I'm Here to share where they are, or I'm Safe to say they're OK without their location. Either way the family group is told straight away.

When you're worried and haven't heard from them, you can send a location check. Your teenager is always told that you asked, and gets a countdown to answer. They can tap I'm Safe to reply without sharing their location. If they don't answer before the countdown ends, their location is shared with the family group, so you can find them if they need you.

Many teenagers who would never accept being tracked are happy with this, because they know they're always told and always get the chance to answer first.

Fairness helps

Rules feel fairer when they apply to everyone. In an ImSafe group, every member has the same tools, so your teenager can check on you in exactly the same way you check on them, and nobody can see more than anyone else.

It also means parents check in too. Letting your teenager know you've landed safely or you're running late shows that this is about looking out for each other, not about control.

Keep a way to ask for help

Whatever you agree about everyday sharing, make sure your teenager has a fast way to raise the alarm. ImSafe's SOS alerts the family group and shows them where your teenager is until they cancel it. It's worth agreeing that they can use it with no questions asked, even if they're somewhere they shouldn't be. You'd rather they called you than didn't.

An SOS reaches family, not the emergency services, so make sure they know to call the emergency number if they're in danger.